Lost

Recently there's a lot of things happened to me again..
It makes me really can't take a breath..
I really feel so lost..
In real i'm really lost something that's Important for me..
I did cried it out..
But it's no use for me..
The tears don't even wish to drop down..
Just cried out in heart..
My heart just remain a big stone inside..
Nothing else..
I didn't appreciate every chances when i got IT..
And IT is gone..
I will keep think that how can i built it back..
Can i??
I'm really not confidence at all..
Because i don't know what can i do anymore..
What can i do is just face it even though there's thousand of UNWILLINGNESS inside..
Nobody really understand my feeling right now..
They just ask me don't make a silling decision..
But here i want to tell you all..
That's not what you guys can see from outside..
The word - "Wait" for me is just a stupid action..
I already missed up a lot of chances..
Now I just wish to chase back all..
Many people use to ask me will i regret if make the decision..
I really don't know will i regret or not..
But what i can tell is if i does not try to catch up the chance..
I'm really will regret..
I don't know i still can fight with it or not if i still keep waiting..
Everynight i just can't even have a deep rest..
Seeing the sky from dark until bright..
No matter how tired i am..
Before..
My life just like a darkness world but there's a RAINBOW appear..
The colours fill up my world..
Now rainbow is gone..
My world is back as usual..
But i tell myself the RAINBOW will be coming back to me one day..
Just for my imagination..

P/S : I really wish to build IT back..

Can I got the chance?

Please stop the lost feeling for me..