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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Good-for-nothing


You know what.. Actually everyone of us should be so understand your own right? Last time I use to be clear of myself.. I know my own characteristics.. I know what I want.. I know what should I do even I do not follow.. I still will be clear about my mind..

Recently only I realize actually I do not understand myself.. Sometimes I really got the feeling of hate to myself.. I don't know why.. Last time when I was in my primary or secondary school.. My teachers, my friends, my relatives or my family told me that I'm a smart girl.. but I just so playful.. do not take thing serious.. In my studies.. for those mid-term exam I surely just get the passing result.. But once for those important exam like UPSR, PMR or even SPM.. I can get better result at least few As..

Do you believe that a person will slowly become stupid once he or she grows up? I really find out that I'm a stupid fellow.. I really don't understand how can I survive for my previous studies.. I always ask myself do not take thing easy.. Since a lot of incident happened to me from the passed until now.. I had missed up a lot to chances in many thing.. I always told myself I have to.. I must appreciate every chance that I have no matter in what.. But I never appreciate at all.. Never and never..

Always make thing worse until that's the end.. Only I think how to run away from it.. I like to escape from problems.. I always ask myself what is the way to escape.. I think many of you will think that I'm a brave girl right? I'm not! I scare to face problems.. I always just run away from that.. People don't mention.. I just act nothing..

Las time I use to think I like to solve problems.. I do not like to escape from problems.. I use to scold people about that.. Now I find that last time I'm not solving problem.. Actually I thought I want to solve the problems.. is just make thing even worse.. I had made a lot of silly decisions before.. I had hurt a lot of people.. even myself.. I thought myself already grown up from it.. But not at all..

This few years I really don't know what did I do before.. Seem like pass my days without my soul.. What I have did is meaningful.. I can't even find one.. What I have did is really make people happy.. Noone.. In materially I got a lot that other people don't have.. But all are useless.. Now in this moment I really realize I'm good-for-nothing..

4 comments:

  1. Hi BiChai, you may not know me. And, its NO coincidence that i "stumbled" upon your site.

    First and foremost, you should know that everything, and more importantly EVERY PERSON, doesn't deserve to be labeled with the phrase "GOOD FOR NOTHING". Why? Simply because its the truth. Everything exists, everything happens, and everyone is here, for a reason. The only problem is (trust me its only a cute-small-tiny-little problem) that they're only in the wrong place in the wrong period of time. But sadly enough, it takes certain people much longer than others to realize this fact (sometimes more painful, or more expensive). But mind you, I'm not trying to imply that you're on the wrong track (maybe just on the wrong train :D). Make yourself believe that the sky is the limit to all you can do. DON'T be afraid to push yourself. Life isn't worth it if you aren't panting. Of course make the best of it, pant for the best of reasons, for those moments that "take your breath away". Life is definitely not unfair. But yeah it is tough.

    Everything happens for a reason. You should always realize the fact that, for WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU, ONLY MAKES YOU STRONGER. Be happy for the fact that you're only getting stronger each day, whether you realize it or not. 做人最失败的就是从来没有做过一件成功的事??? Are you sure? If you think you've failed a thousand time, take it as a thousand lessons that you've learnt. I'm sure you might be thinking that it's easier said than done, but as i said, life is tough. We face life, not back away from it.

    I totally agree with you that running away from problems should not be the way. But don't worry, for every problem there's a solution, just that some needs more time.

    Well, i'd have to disagree with you that everyone knows themselves well enough. Its not true entirely. Self discovery is an ongoing everyday process. Each and every day we learn something new about ourselves, no matter how insignificant they may be. The truth is, nobody know what holds for the future, or for that matter, even tomorrow. Isn't that what makes life interesting? If someone tells you they know that they know about themselves good enough, well i'll be sorry for them. Because we still have the tendency to surprise ourselves each and every day.

    Remember, this is only one tiny chapter in your life. There's soooo much more to look forward to. I believe you have wonderful family and friends and hence it has shaped a wonderful YOU. Just don't look back, do what you think is right at each moment and the rest would be taken care of. I assure you. The future is promising. Don't give up. Regards =)

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  2. Hello.. thanks for ur encouragement.. ya.. i did thk to give up.. i know i shouldn't like this but sometimes i have no choice.. i feel that i'm a failure.. really disappointed to myself.. i have no guts to face it.. what should do..

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  3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8ZuKF3dxCY&feature=related

    You should know what to do. :)

    ReplyDelete